Rolling on the downside

Hello again my blog and my readers. It's been a while since I updated my blog, and when I finally update it, it's not about fashion (pardon me). I'm just... I mean, I'm at that time of the year when I was feeling like sh*t.

Well, life is going well so far. I got two part-time jobs and I'm doing pretty well at my language school. I know I should be grateful... and yes, I'm grateful for all the kindness I've got so far. But it's not about feeling grateful. It's about my inner self.

I know I always have this kind of moment when I'm feeling so alone in this world, like every year to be precise, and it always going on for around a week or so. After that, I'm usually going back to my 'normal self'. But this time, I'm not going to bitch about my melancholic side and what's running inside my head. It's kinda hard to explain here, so I just want to share about other things I realized because of this phase.

Actually I don't know why God sent me a lot of 'brother' here in Japan, maybe to avoid some meaningless drama or something (?), but I'm thankful for them. They do like to jokes around and say some perverted stuff, but they also help me with my studies and life. I might not be able to do the 'girl's talk' like with my best friends in Jakarta, but they understand me in their own way. I think they kinda understand when I was being seriously pissed, or just doing it for the sake of joking around, without having to say it out loud.

I really appreciate how they make my phone busy with line's notifications (even though sometimes it's just full of jokes), and keep inviting me to hang out with them when others are drifting apart. I really appreciate their effort to keep all of us close. I do remember that one of my best friends said to me that effort is needed to keep all of us close, but I never get it before. I thought it's enough to keep in contact even only by line or others social media, but now I get it. It's kinda tired if it's only you making the effort, but it's really easy when other parties are also as enthusiastic as you're. Beside that matter, they really help me realized some things I failed to understand before.

So I'm kinda glad to have this melancholic side of mine this time. It made me realized some things I considered important. Well, I still want the phase to be gone quickly though. LOL~

OK then, I don't want to keep blabbering.... Looking at the time, it's time for me to sleep. I hope I will update my blog again in no time, so see you guys soon! :D


Anastasia Goenawan


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