Okay, so I went to watch Lion King at Singapore, and had a free day after that, so me being me, and the fact that I haven't visited Singapore for 5-6 years made it like super short trip. My cousins and I decided to go around Bugis and Haji Lane. We took several pictures and just strolling around until late night. It was quite fun, and I hope I can do it again soon!

Hello lovelies! I'm back after two months of vacation and wrecking my brain for something new. YES! You read it right! I keep growing as a human being and with all that constant changing, I just feel like the previous blog concept is outdated. I can't deny that I've been pouring all my attention to instagram and no love (and time) for my blog, but I just feel like I need to figure myself out before doing anything to this blog. So, if you haven't actually notice the change in my blog layout and everything, I will just write it out for you right from the start!

Riiiigghht...! It all started from the end of June when I finally came back to Jakarta for good, with the idea of working in fashion brand before I started out my own brand officially. And while waiting for the company to call me, I found myself with so many free-time that made me mentally sick. I actually went over some downs rather than up with all those free-time; I'm feeling like I'm so lazy and have no future and all that crazy shit. I even complained on my instagram, you can just scroll it down, with my mind struggling to make a productive life (with constant nagging from my parents and family).

To make it short, I'm blessed with the constant support from my social-media friends to keep on going and do what I love to do. I began to think hard about what I want to do in my life, what things mattered to me, and how to achieve that dream. So many people successed on theirs already and I think I can also do it, if I try hard and have the consistency (one that I lack). With all the support from my social media friends and couple of my real-life friends, I began to turn back into positivity, self-love, passion, and of course, life/social-issues. I dug back my own life motto and verses that I held dear. Then I began to pour the idea on my instagram's caption and found that I'd love to share my point of view in life. Hence the idea came to me to actually start writing my blog again, with a different concept than before.

Don't get me wrong, I still love to dress up and all, but I want to make my post has more meaning rather than my half-ass knowledge about fashion (we have enough fashion influencers who have more knowledge than I am). So then I open my blog again today, and re-did the layout and trying to start again (for countless time in my life LOL).

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So today's quote is

'Start your day with a smile,

and end it with a smile too.'

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And I will close this post with a poll.

What do you want me to discuss on my next post?

1. Single: The Best Time to Discover Yourself

2. How to: Be More Positive

3. Life in Jakarta vs Life in Tokyo; Which One is Better?

4. How to: Found Your Passion

xx

credit:

photos are taken with Fujifilm XT20

lens: 3.5mm, f 1,4

by Sannie Xen 

and edited by me with Adobe Lightroom and VSCO

Good day to everyone! How's your summer going on? Remember in my last post I said that I'm going to update more about my short trip to Gotemba? Sorry, but that have to wait. This time I was rewriting my deleted post about what I promised in my instagram post a week ago.

If you followed my instagram, you will know which post I'm talking about. If you don't, please go and follow me now!, check it out now... In the caption I said I was rewriting the caption over and over and decided to save the long story for people who's actually care enough to want to know more about it. And to my surprise, a lot of people encourage me to share more about it. So here it is......

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WARNING!!

It will be long and boring, with sensitive topic. Turn back before you die of boredom~

You've been warned!

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For starters, I will explain the environment I'm growing up in, to make it clear where's my position and why I thought I was weird AF...

I was born into catholic family, in Indonesia, where's social value was hold as narrow-minded as ants' hole. I was raised with some value I found it weird and questionable. I never dared to question it out loud because we kids just follow our parents, teachers, and community's instruction, without questions. YES. Otherwise, you will be branded as troublesome kids or naughty kids, and the likes. So I love to keep everything to myself and in the end, I always feel like I'm weird AF. Not that anyone knows about it, even my own lovely siblings who've been supportive as they can be. And let make me clear, I was born nearly 30 years ago, with a little bit too small social boundaries that made my friends' circle as small as my bathtub.

What? You wanted to know what kind of value we have? Ok, for starters, we, Indonesian (well, most of us), believe we have to be straight as an arrow, get married and produce kids to fill the world. Other orientation? you'd surely be branded as sinner and would go to hell. If you're a girl, you have to wear skirt, be pretty, have long hair, pay attention to your physical appearance, and can do house chores. If you're a boy, you can't be seen crying, have to be macho, strong, and show all that masculine treats. If you behave otherwise, you'll be damned.

Yeah, welcome to my hell of society. And until I was in middle school, I thought nothing of it. What? I was a kid. A not so normal kid. I started to wonder about it because at that time, there's this one tomboy girl in my school who liked to tease me. A childish teasing if I think about it now. She liked to stand in front of me and prevent me from going home. I thought she was just being playful even though we never been in the same class or talk that much, until my best friends got angry and said something hurtful to her. I didn't remember what my friend said and I didn't even get what she was saying (I was super dense I knew), but I still remembered how she stopped smiling and let me go home. And after that, she never approach me anymore. That day my friend even told me to get angry or ignore her and say 'don't approach me anymore' to her if she continued doing it. I didn't remember what my respond were (I think it was my defense mechanism to forget events I don't want to remember).

For a while, her hurtful expression just stuck in my mind. I knew my friend just got ticked off and just wanted to make her stop, but she got hurt. I began to wonder if it's because her boyish appearance or her tomboyish attitude, but everyone I knew thought she's weird. After that incident, I got interested in why people thought she's weird and got to know some bad gossip about her (you know, teenage girls hang out together... most of the time, we only talk about rubbish gossip.. or maybe it was in my time only.. i dunno). Is being different a bad thing? She was kind enough and being friendly to me, so I didn't see why everyone saying bad things about her. But well, I didn't do anything at that time and I regretted it. Until now, I wanted to go back in time and smacked my past self in the head for being a coward and let her go her way. So if she's well and healthy out there, and accidentally stumbled upon this post of mine, I hope she forgives my friends and me.

With time, I found more about other sexual orientation beside heterosexual. While everyone I knew thought it was disgusting and just wrong, I was questioning about why do everyone think it is wrong? Even in the church, we're not welcoming homosexual people. For years, I was feeling so guilty for thinking they're no different from me, from us. They just like someone from the same sex as them. No big deal. I even thought why God created them to be different and being condemned and hated by others? Didn't He love them too? I was searching for answers for years. There's time where I feel like my religion is just wrong. They preached on love and forgiveness but do no such thing. They still judge and discriminate.

But well, God has His own plan. I was glad that I took psychology as my university major and learned a whole new things all together. It opened my eyes, a lot. Even though I got to know that it was just a matter of personal preferences, sometimes I still found myself thinking if I was weird for supporting their right as human beings, as I looking at the issues being brought to the media recently... specially in my own country. But with time and support from both people I never got to meet (all thanks to social media) and people I actually met, I will gladly say I'm not all that weird. LOL 

If I was born and growing up in different environment, I might not find myself weird. As you might say, my thinking was all fine and normal, but with the context and background story, it could be seen differently. My supportive fellas always said, we're all unique and one of a kind. We should embrace our weirdo side and just be who we are. I was glad I got to know these awesome fellas, all thanks to God (and some) with the help of social media.

We might have our own story. So this is my story. What's yours? I'd love to know your story too (doesn't have to be as sensitive as mine). I'll be waiting!

xoxo

Anastasia

credit:

photos are taken with Fujifilm XT20

lens: 3.5mm, f 1,4

by Sannie Xen 

 

 

 

 

FOLLOW ME:

FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM

A little bit after going back to Indonesia, I went to one of my best friend's wedding in Samarinda, Borneo. A short trip and a reunion. I haven't meet them for almost 4 years, and I was so glad I could make it. It was a month ago though, but I still feel happy for my friend and her husband. :) all the best wishes for both of them.

After my little reunion with my ESMOD friends, I have to go back to Tokyo for family emergency issues, so yeah, I'm back in Tokyo. My plan on working got postponed for several months. I was kinda excited to start working, but let just say God wanted me to have longer holiday. I will write some post about Tokyo, so stay tuned!

So far, I've been wandering around Harajuku and Omotesando since my apartment is in Aoyama, and I only need 10-15 minutes walk to Omotesando. Got to spend time in the hospital for some time too, so I haven't roaming around other area. It's not me who got admitted to the hospital, but one of my family member.

There are some things I noticed after going in and out of the hospital for two weeks. It's so different from hospital in Jakarta. The patients are free to roam around, like sitting in the lounge, go down to buy their own snack in the convinience store at 2nd floor, and having visitor(s) in the lounge area. The nurse have to see you drink the medicine before they proceed to take your blood pressure and your temperature. The food menus change everyday and they actually balance the diet (they put your name and room number on each tray to make it feel more personal). And we have to put back the tray ourselves, this is one of the nicest point, like you still have to be independent. LOL.

Next I will update more about my first journey to Gotemba, so stay tune!

xoxo

Anastasia

Follow me:

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credit:

photos are taken with Fujifilm XT20

lens: 3.5mm, f 1,4

by Sannie Xen

 

Hello sweeties~!

After selfishly being absent for a year, I'm happy to announce that I'm back and will keep writing! I knew so well that I was not always that busy, but I was a bit lazy to think and write... I prefered to go out and hang out with my friends or just play games or just, well, sleep... and then half the year was spent on my graduation project...

It was a great year -nice friends and nice teachers.... I got to do some collaboration project for ESMOD Annual International Meeting too... You might have seen it if you followed my instagram.. ;) If not, then follow me, sweeties~

Back to my graduation project, sweeties... After all struggles of the preparation, I had all the fun doing the photoshoot! :D All thanks to my friends back in Tokyo who helped me with the photoshoot.. That was my first time doing photoshoot, and we did it on the street in the middle of winter while my clothes are for spring-summer collection.. I feel bad for my models, but all of us had fun nonetheless.. :D And the photoshoot turned out to be real good, all the judges and teachers gave good comments on it.


Here're a bit preview of the photoshoot result ♡

Hello! As always, I never really write back here.... Life, so far so good; with a bit of school project that takes 85% of my times. It's the last project before I have to face my exam and final presentation and got my oh-so-deserved-holiday.

Not much happening after my winter holiday, but good vibes. Sure, the projects are killing me deep inside, but the praises got me hang in the cliff. Seriously. Before my winter break, I felt like I made a mistake by coming to Tokyo, and what not, all my school scores are not that good; just your usual B and B- there and there.. Forgive me not, if I stayed at Jakarta, I would be graduated already and had my own brand. But scratch that, I'm stuck with the school still.....

I really hated my life 2 months ago, and was thinking what should I do to actually be free.... I was able to hang on until the last moment before I actually broke down that I have to talk to my teacher about this shitty problem of mine. Her encouragement was really helpful and made me feel better. She pointed out my improvement in those 9 months and trying to convince me to talk on her if something happening or I have problems. Thanks to her (and my lovely translator and friends), I were able to go through my crisis.

Seriously, kids! If you're thinking to go to fashion school and thinking like it's only drawing and sewing, with a lot of free time to go shopping, or the chances to attend fashion show and be a blogger, better think twice, no, hundreds time before you actually enrolled to one (and if someone actually say it in front of me, then I'll make sure to punch them in the face).

The real fashion school is hell. Believe me! Unless it's your true passion, don't even try to dip your feet there. Sure, the main subjects are design and pattern-making class that consist of drawing, coloring, and sewing; but it doesn't stop there........

In design class:

You have to do research,

have yourself inspired and full of imagination while there's no time to find inspiration because you're stuck inside the classroom or your room doing your project,

keep up with the trend,

be as creative as f*ck when trying to figure what kind of original fabric and print without being accused as copy-cat;

and in the same time still have to connect with your project theme and concept,

have to discover your preference and style in design,

have to come up with around 30 design every project,

have an illustrator skill and able to do more than one technique to draw and color your design,

have a photoshop and illustrator skill,

have to come up with new silhouette and details for your collection.

In pattern-making class:

have your logic running in pattern class,

able to do basic math,

have to analyze your design and come up with the measurement,

able to imagine how the lines will form the silhouette and work from there,

have to be super careful when tracing,

have to keep redoing your pattern to be able to make the right silhouette based on your design,

able to do CAD for pattern (computer based pattern-making) that's confusing as hell,

have to remember all the step when sewing,

make sure it's sewn right on the seam line or you have to redo it,

have to remember to iron your fabric before cutting, after some sewing step, and after finish sewing,

and there're other classes as well.....

history, croquis, 3D class, computer class, and some might have fashion marketing class......

Some of us might not have time to shower before go to school, have to put make-up on our way to school or just give up on putting make-up, and pull all-nighter every now and then....

All you see on instagram is just the tiny bit of our school life....... that glamorous life, it's just the 1%....

But then, when you're finished with the sewing process and can actually wear your own creation, all your all-nighter, your tears, your hard work are paid off.... and it's totally worth it! :)

So, are you still up for fashion school? Kindly tell me below~

xoxo

Anastasia

Follow me on:

FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM

Hello again, everyone! Have you realized that lately a lot of girls have been wearing choker around their neck? I don't know if it's also happening in western countries, but in Japan and Korea, the fever seems to be there. I was not really fond of choker before, since it feels like I'm being cuffed, but this time around I found it kinda appealing. Thanks to variation of the design ♡

So when I got the chance, I grabbed mine from Born Pretty Store, my favorite online store to get my accessories. This time around, I got myself these adorable babies. Check them out!

Born Pretty Store actually has a lot of choker design you can choose from, but I chose this one because of the thick material. I had similiar material for necklace and when it's too thin, it's easy to break, so I carefully think about the thickness of the material. Despite this thought, I really love the design of the choker, specially the gem pendant.

The second baby is this fox bracelet. The material is still the same as the choker, but with different color and thickness. I personally love fox and the picture for the pendant is really cute, don't you think so? I just love any bracelet that has lot of layer (can it even called layer?)

\

The third one is typical necklace that I'd buy, the long chain necklace. I love to wear long necklace, but the typical gold or silver chain is pretty boring for me so when I saw this all black chain and geometric shape for the pendant, I fall in love in the first sight and just knew that I have to have it! Doesn't it just adorable?

The last one is still has the geometric shape, but this one is bracelet. I actually rarely wear this kind of bracelet since it doesn't suit my sporty style, but when I want to dress up a little nicely and classy, this bracelet comes in handy. It's pretty nice to match with your blouse or dress.

Beside all those four, you can check their collection in their website! They offer free shipping worldwide and I offer you 10% off with my code if you decided to buy yourself some nice accessories. Just use my code AGT10 at your checkout!

So, in those four, which one is your favorite? Share with me down below! :)

See you next time!

xoxo

Anastasia

Follow me here:

Instagram | Facebook | Lookbook

[Part 1]
 The photos are taken in Disneysea, Tokyo, but rather than writing about my fun day to get you jealous, I rather use these photo while writing about my thought. Beside, I believe most of you already visit Disneyland countless time, so what's the meaning of me bragging about my once in a lifetime visit.

Hype my lookbook:

TBC,

Anastasia